For a Long Long Time
by Ca-Ma-Firefly
Summary: This is a One-Shot in which Meryl ponders on her feelings for Vash. Please read inside for complete summary.


**Disclaimer:** I don't own Trigun, even though I would love to I don't. Neither do I own the song "Long, Long Time" vocals are by Linda Ronstadt, nor the lyrics which belong to her label or to her, I'm not sure I just know that I don't own them.

(This is a One-Shot in which Meryl ponders on her feelings for Vash. I feel Meryl's character was a rational person, yet had to deal with a somewhat irrational situation in which her feelings were mixed into it and she fully knew that the outcome might not be happily-ever after; yet she couldn't stop herself from at least trying to be by Vash's side. I did take creative liberty since there's a lot we didn't get to see of Meryl's background and her character's personality. This is my interpretation so bear with me. On that note any grammatical corrections would be highly appreciated. The song I picked is actually the reason why I even wrote this one-shot. I've never done fan-fic before. I've never felt confident enough to take some one else's characters and try and make them my own. But this song is just so beautiful that I just had to write something with it, and I've been in a Trigun mood lately so I thought, what the hell why not?…So yea hopefully ENJOY!!)

_Love will abide, take things in stride_

_Sounds like good advice but there's no one at my side _

I've always been taught work hard, be strong don't show your emotions so eagerly. Naturally this has made things a little awkward when it has come to getting close to the opposite sex. Though whenever I would wonder about this; I was always told that love didn't come easy and to let things take their own course. It seemed like a great ideal to live on. So I've always held back my feelings and just let them be subtle. Yet as the years pass and I'm still alone I begin to wonder how great of an advice it really has been.

_And time washes clean love's wounds unseen_

_That's what someone told me but I don't know what it means. _

Time passes me by. Time that means nothing to you, but it leaves me empty with each passing day. You don't notice me. People will say time heals all wounds but to my understanding it only makes one forget, and I don't want to forget you.

_Cause I've done everything I know to try and make you mine_

_And I think I'm gonna love you for a long long time_

I have given up everything to stay by your side. Sure it started of as an assignment, a challenge even. I was chosen above my peers to follow and contain an extremely dangerous outlaw. How silly. The journey has been dangerous; yet you have turned out to be anything but, and despite my better judgment I have fallen in love with you. I would stand with you at the very core of this forsaken planet, quietly hoping that someday you might love me too. It seems that I can't help myself; I think I'm going to love you for a long, long time.

_Caught in my fears_

_Blinking back the tears_

_I can't say you hurt me when you never let me near_

Even if I could just tell you, I'm so afraid of your rejection. Afraid that if you knew how much I truly cared for you, you will think it best to leave for good before things got more complicated. I try to be brave like you. So I hold back my tears each time you run off, and I chase after you. I tell myself that this shouldn't hurt so much I can only get as near to you as you let me.

_And I never drew one response from you_

_All the while you fell all over girls you never knew_

_Cause I've done everything I know to try and make you mine_

_And I think it's gonna hurt me for a long long time _

Yet no matter what I do it always seems like you never look my way. Could you be that dense, or am I just too foolish? You always notice the pretty girls, and just for once I wish it were me you saw. I don't want to love you. Because in the end I know I'm going to be the one hurting for a long, long time.

_Wait for the day _

_You'll go away_

_Knowing that you warned me of the price I'd have to pay_

I fully know the consequences. I know the dangers. You've told me time and time again to stop being so reckless and to get away from you. But someday you might leave me forever and that will be the hardest of all prices that I will have to pay.

_And life's full of flaws_

_Who knows the cause? _

I wish it were easier. I wish people would stop hurting you. But life's full of flaws, and who really knows why things ever turn out they way they do?

_Living in the memory of a love that never was _

_Cause I've done everything I know to try and change your mind_

_and I think I'm gonna miss you for a long long time_

_Cause I've done everything I know to try and make you mine _

_And I think I'm gonna love you for a long long time._

I want it to be me by your side at the end. I don't want to live in the memory of what never was. Yet this is the best I could do. I will continue to follow you through hell and back, and if you finally leave for good, I know I'm going to miss you for a long, long time. And even though you might never be mine, at least I will have loved you for a long, long time.

(The end. It was hard trying to get this to go with every lyric in the song but I did my very, very best. I tried very hard not to make it seem too repetitive so hopefully that was ok too. I also tried to make it all flow together so you can actually read it with out the lyrics and it would still make sense. But anyway hopefully you enjoyed it. Again any grammatical errors please review and let me know. I tend to have a challenge with past and present tense. I re-read it to see if it all was in it's correct tense but I might have overlooked something or there might be some rule I'm forgetting or don't know about. So please let me know. If you absolutely didn't like it, please don't be rude about it. You are welcome to leave a review of course just be polite and constructive, tell me what would have made it better. Thanks D)


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